Sunny Days in DC

Jack of All Trades, Master of 3-ish.

I’m like the Agatha Christie of BDSM, you guys!

on April 23, 2013

Not gonna lie, I totally had to look up how to spell that name. Also, was Agetha Christie someone who solved puzzles? Or did she hunt down criminals? Because I’m not actually hunting down criminals in leather…. although that sounds fun, too.

As you may or may not know, I’m FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIRLY comfortable with my sexuality. I feel like a lot of the world’s problems might be solved if the right people had a few more orgasms, or maybe just better ones. It’s like a modified version of the Quaker religious philosophy. Because I like Quakers. And they’re delicious, delicious oatmeal.

I should probably eat dinner before posting.

Anywho, I’m feeding Max when my friend Em calls:

Em: “Soo……. I wanna give my boyfriend a gift for his birthday…”

Me: “Yup, sounds nice. Whatcha thinkin?”

Em: “I was thinking of arranging a night at a swinger’s club.”

Me: “Uhhhhhhhhh……….. mkay.”

Em: “Can you figure out what the best one for me is?”

Me: “WHAT THE?!?!”

Only what I REALLY said was, “Okee dokee!” because I’m an idiot with not enough things to do with the few precious hours she has in the evenings!

So, now I have to go onto FetLife, which REALLY means I have to remember my password and login ID, and I have to drag my ass to the swinger’s group, and ask them, and then I have to have CONVERSATIONS with people (I do that shit ALL. DAY. LONG.) and find a good place for her. Why?

Em: “PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! Because when I think of kinky sex stuff, I think of YOUUUUU…”

I am entirely unsure of how to feel about this. Thanks?

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14 responses to “I’m like the Agatha Christie of BDSM, you guys!

  1. It’s nice. You want your friends to think you are open minded and racy. Especially since you are a nice married Jewish lady with a baby. The opposite of a leather-clad dom who parties all night. Or so we would have thought…

    • H. Stern says:

      I can’t afford leather, and I was never much for loud clubs. Though, I did spend one summer with my Russian friend going to russian clubs in NYC. We came home every morning at 6am.

      That has nothing to do with BDSM… and now I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

      And I AM a nice Jewish married lady with a baby. I also happen to like trying new things! And some of those things have SAFETY WORDS! YAY!

  2. I think of you when I think of kinky sex, too.

  3. i guess you want the FAST oats, not the old fashioned.

  4. Hannah, you are on assignment! Oh please, write a follow-up post. I want to hear how this all shakes out!

  5. I know the drudgery of research. Why just last night I slaved over my keyboard for minutes trying to find a link for a certain brand of birch beer. Be brave sister, and please keep us updated on the swinger scene, even if it’s a vicarious report from Em. FYI, for my last birthday, my wife went all sexy on me and got me some socks.

  6. hannah i answered you on lovincelle’s “poured some sand out on my desk and played” a very long ANSWER about how i love your eating and your writing and your name about sunny d.c., but i think i hit the wrong button,, or i can’t reply….and about calcium hot chocolate in your quaker oats.lol

  7. sassypanties says:

    Hannah!!! I nominated you for a Sunshine Award!!! I LOVE YOUR ENTIRE FACE!!!!!!

  8. annieboreson says:

    Hannah, had no idea you were out here cutting up the cursive. So glad Sassypanties filled me in. Research is a beautiful thing and if your friend wants you to arrange a night at a swinger’s club…then I say move to the food.

  9. rainey says:

    You have the ability to make me giggle out loud, even when I don’t want to giggle out loud. Is there a safety word for that? Enough already!

  10. Teeny Bikini says:

    And so this is quote of the year: “I feel like a lot of the world’s problems might be solved if the right people had a few more orgasms, or maybe just better ones.” Preach.

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