Sunny Days in DC

Jack of All Trades, Master of 3-ish.

HEY, RODRIGUEZ!!

on April 10, 2013

I stood outside the FAA building in DC, waiting for my friend to come out of the garage and pick me up on the corner.

“HEY! RODRIGUEZ!” a guy yells at me from across the street. I don’t know who Rodriguez is, and I’m not feeling particularly rape-y tonight, so I try to type a WordPress post on my phone.

“FUCK!” I mutter under my breath, but probably not, because I’m kinda wasted. “Fucking POST!”

“Can I help you?” it’s a security guard. Act cool, you guys.

Crap…. you’re not even here. You’re in my head.

“Uhhhh….. waiting. Friend…. car….. drinks… NO! *I* had the drinks! She’s driving me home! It’s, uhhh… her birthday.”

“You should probably wait over there, ma’am.”

“Mkay….. uhhh…. why?”

“Uhh…. because if she pulls out of the garage, then you’re standing on the DRIVER’S side of the car.”

“OH! YES! BRILLIANT! Thanks so much!” I cross to the other side, where the passenger will sit.

Mama’s a little shwasty tonight… so I probably won’t read many more blogs. I have left random, drunken comments for several people.

My husband was annoyed I came home so late. Whatver. It’s my first night out in a LONG time, and I love this friend SO much. We rolled down the windows and sang to 90’s music at the top of our lungs all the way home.

And so, my parting words to you tonight, my sweet friends who put up with me without payment, sex, or payment for sex, is this:

HEY! RODRIGUEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…I think that about says it all, don’t you?

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17 responses to “HEY, RODRIGUEZ!!

  1. Gotta roll down the windows and sing…or maybe the sunroof instead…open windows not really safe around here..but if you do watch those low hanging pipes and signs…head injuries are not so cool…but Hey won’t feel it for several hours, right? Heeeeyyyyy!

    • H. Stern says:

      She didn’t have a sunroof…. otherwise, things might have gotten a little out of hand. And no, I didn’t realize I had sung myself hoarse until hours later… 😐

  2. sassypanties says:

    I love everything about this post. But mostly that I have a new word to use now: shwasty

  3. FreeRangeCow says:

    Shwasty AND typing like a teenage girl on your phone! LOL! I can just PICTURE it!!!

  4. Everyone deserves a night out to let their hair down and get crazy with their friends. Sounds to me like you enjoyed every second 🙂

  5. my gay mom says:

    Oh, how I love your drunken brain. Thank you for this post and thank you for inspiring me to have a cocktail.

  6. ekgo says:

    You drunk typed that on your phone?? You are, like, the master of the English language! I am so impressed with your mad skillz right now!

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