Sunny Days in DC

Jack of All Trades, Master of 3-ish.

POST SCROTUM

on March 22, 2013

OMG YOU GUYS! I’M GONNA BE RICH!!! Yeah, I’ll remember all the little people… NOT!!! (Is yelling “not!” still a thing? I want that to be a thing.) Anyway, my ship finally came in, when I got the following letter:

Dear friend,

Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise. I got your contact When i was searching for a foreign reliable partner

I am (Toure Ibrahim) the Head of file Department in African development bank (A.D.B). In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $15 million U.S.A dollars. In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with all his family in the Asia Earth Quake Disaster (TSUNAMI DISASTER INDONESIA / INDIA.
Since we got information about his death, unfortunately i learn that all his supposed next of kin or relation died along side leaving nobody behind for the claim. In respect to the provision of a foreign account ($6 million dollars) for you and ($9 million dollars) for me. There after i will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated.
(FILL THIS FORM BELLOW PLEASE AND RESEND IT TO ME).
1) Your Full Name
2) Your Age
3) Marital Status
4) Your Cell Phone Number
5) Your Fax Number
6) Your Country
7) Your Occupation
8) Sex
9) Your Religion

POST SCROTUM: You have to keep everything secret as to enable the transfer to move very smoothly in to the account you will prove to the bank. I am waiting for your immediate response as you receive this mail. Extend my sincere greetings to your entire family. God bless you and bye for now.
Yours faithfully,

Toure Ibrahim.

Well, Mr. Ibrahim, you will be HAPPY to know that I fully intend to answer this note (also, your indignation has been excused, in case that was a lingering concern). I would very much like to be the recipient of this vast fortune, and as such, I will endeavor to work with you.

……however, what you do with your scrotum needs to be on your own time. I don’t want to hear about that nasty shit.  

 

 

 

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16 responses to “POST SCROTUM

  1. Adam S says:

    We’re both gonna be rich!!!!!!

  2. FreeRangeCow says:

    Sunny Days ahead, for sure! I’ll tell you what, you let me deal with his scrotum and I’ll pitch in some cash to help his (and your getting rich) cause along! ROTFLMAO!

  3. sassypanties says:

    Dude. Meet me in Maui: 4 months, 10 days, 23 hours, and 43, 42, 41 seconds….crap 29….28…27….

  4. When I grow up I want to be Head of file Department in an important bank…

  5. Post Scrotum? I’d heard that some of those countries have some pretty barbaric “coming of age” traditions, but that seems excessive. Maybe he was caught stealing at a young age and had the purloined goods stuffed down the front of his loin cloth.

  6. nedkelly944 says:

    Until I got tired of it I used to reply to these halfwits, correcting their spelling, diction and references to enable then to be more believable. Hasn’t worked to date but they haven’t stopped trying! Anything that is too good to be true is too good to be true but posting a scrotum that I would like to see> ‘Return to sender’ would be easy and quick!

    • H. Stern says:

      I did actually reply to him and goaded him on, but I have a relatively short attention span. Also, if you don’t figure out someone is messing with you when they sign their email, “Love, Falcore,” then you don’t deserve my business anyway. Thanks for reading!

  7. ekgo says:

    I never remember to ask people to excuse my indignation but then, I also usually don’t want it excused.
    But how will he get you your money? He didn’t ask for your bank account information or a credit card? I don’t understand.

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