Sunny Days in DC

Jack of All Trades, Master of 3-ish.

Who Would Have Thought Hell Would Be So Warm!

on December 28, 2012

Once again, it’s time for that moment of, “Oh, you don’t think the same way I do?” featuring: me.

While strolling through the garden of WordPressiness, I stumbled upon this. It’s actually quite sweet; the author discusses how he’s filled with the holiday spirit, and how it’s very calming and soothing for him. I really liked it!

Only… when all the stores are closed, and everyone is in their homes, opening presents, or eating figgy pudding (or whatever), I like to go outside and walk around when it’s silent, and pretend I’m in a post apocalyptic world.

I’m such an asshole.

I do the same thing during blackout here in Maryland, which (Thanks very much, Pepco!), happens frequently. As soon as I hear that all the electricity is out, I pack the family in the car, and head to the mall. I walk right into Target, and sit in the camping section on a lawn chair, and watch as people wander the aisles. Inevitably, someone picks up an item they think they need, and tries to check out at the cashier, only to be reminded that the registers aren’t working. Forlornly, they’ll place their item down and walk away.

That’s how I know all those books and movies about the apocalypse are wrong. People will NOT run into a panic. First, they’ll just walk around dazed and confused, trying to buy random shit from Target.

…then, then the Amish will fucking OWN this country. Think about it. I can’t churn motherfucking butter! I don’t know how to birth a cow.

Maybe I could blog on, like, a tree or something for them. I’d be their dancing monkey.

…cause that’s all I got.

3 responses to “Who Would Have Thought Hell Would Be So Warm!

  1. Teeny Bikini says:

    Hysterical! I have already started buying my random shit from Target 😉

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