Sunny Days in DC

Jack of All Trades, Master of 3-ish.

Get in the kitchen and make me a sammich!… please?

on December 13, 2012

OMG I’m totally hungry right now!!

As a part of our ongoing attempt to cleave to socially approved gender roles, my husband is cooking dinner. He does all the cooking because OMFG HE IS A GOOD COOK!

I was raised in Brooklyn. My mom makes the BEST reservations you’ve ever had. But cooking? Not so much. Her idea of a Friday night dinner was a heated can of refried beans, with a cut up hotdog mixed in. Was that standard fare? Was I the only one who ate that? Honestly, though…. that shit was kinda good…

Also, one time, I burned water. Exactly. Mull that over for a bit.

I do the household repairs. My dad is a handyman. When I was 8 months pregnant, we went to the local botanical gardens. When I used the bathroom, I realized they had a toilet that was running and wasting water. I fixed it. My dad said he’d never been more proud. It wasn’t that he wanted a BOY, he just wanted a girl who could take care of herself. Hence: Me. Kinda. I still hate spiders. Nothing needs that many legs!!!


*Fuck you. DIE!*

Frankly, I’m completely ok with the husbinator doing all the cooking. He enjoys it, and it appeals to his obsessive side of having things “just-so.” That’s why I do the cleaning; it appeals to *my* obsessive side of completely-not-giving-a-shit-so-long-as-we’re-not-on-America’s-messiest-homes-show. We all have our fortes.

I find it funny when I tell people that my husband does the cooking, and they give us a strange look. Why should I stop him? He enjoys it, I hate it, and I’m more than happy to reap the rewards of his culinary experiments. Plus, it’s 2012, almost 2013 (unless the Aztecs do us in), so why stick to the old-guard?

I birthed the child. That’s as far as I go with the whole “Susie Homemaker” routine. The rest is up to my guy.


*Like this, but with a penis.*

6 responses to “Get in the kitchen and make me a sammich!… please?

  1. Ki Vault says:

    I’m smiling again!

  2. ekgo says:

    Let’s have a date! Gabe is our cooker, too. I’m a better cooker but I’m never home so it falls to him and he’s learning quickly. SO! Let’s send Gabe over to your house and he can have more cooking learning and YOU come to my house and teach me how to lay wooden floors (not like sex, but like ripping up carpet and putting down planks and nailing them to the floor so they don’t all bunch up in one part of the room)
    And, yes, you’re right – the only one benefitting from this arrangement is me. But just think of how much more character it will build for all of us, right?

    • H. Stern says:

      I would TOTALLY be down with that arrangement. Also, not to be a total weirdo, but if you want to learn how to put down wood floors, you can go to, or there’s some site called Home Handyman or something. Family Handyman? I don’t know. But it’s awesome. I drool over those projects like my husband does over recipes.

      DONE DEAL!!

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