Sunny Days in DC

Jack of All Trades, Master of 3-ish.

Guess what? I’m still a 5 year old girl.

on December 11, 2012

There are three floors to my house: the top floor, where the bedrooms are, the main floor, which has our living room and kitchen, and then there’s the basement. Since my birthday was on Tuesday, I am now, technically speaking, a 33 year old woman. And guess what? When it comes to going down into my basement when I am alone in the house: HELL NO.

Image

*Fuck every last second of this.*

Is there seriously someone out there who is not at all creeped out by a basement at night? There must be SOMEONE. I feel like, at some point, we were all supposed to get together in class, and our teachers would have said, “Ok kids, I know you’ve been scared, but all those terrifying stories you’ve read? All made up. You’re cool to head down into the basement alone in the dark, because there is NOTHING down there.”

If that happened, I was sick that day.

I still run up the wood stairs in my house in Brooklyn, which creek just one second after you, so it sounds like someone is climbing the stairs right behind you.

I have a clear shower curtain at home, too. Not for anything kinky or fun (I know, tragic!), but because THAT SERIAL KILLER WHO KILLS YOU IN THE SHOWER IS NOT GETTING THE DROP ON ME (thanks Psycho & Stephen King for ruining any relaxing bathing experience, ever).

Honestly. That’s seriously why I have that.

Thankfully, I can admit to all of this on the interwebs, because none of you know me…

…but don’t tell anyone anyway… k?

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One response to “Guess what? I’m still a 5 year old girl.

  1. ekgo says:

    Ok, this is self-serving and vain, but seriously, THIS IS RELEVANT TO YOUR CONVERSATION: http://006point7ekgo.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/then-came-sucker-upper/

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