Sunny Days in DC

Jack of All Trades, Master of 3-ish.

Poverty Makes Me Morally Superior to You

on December 3, 2012

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Ahh, the holiday season. A time when most people are engaging in the kind of bad decision making that’s generally reserved for late nights at bars, and post beer-pong flirting in frat houses… but now they’re using their credit cards! If I were in the same position I was in last year, I would probably be pouring over all the sales at Target, searching for just the right developmentally appropriate toys for my new son. I’d weigh the use of plastic versus traditional wood toys, and discuss which were more environmentally friendly, and what message *does* bringing home a squeaky stuffed dolphin made in China send to our son? However, it’s not last year, and I’m broke as hell.

Being unemployed doesn’t come with a lot of perks. There’s… ummm….

So, at the very least this year, be prepared for my scorn, oh mighty wheel of consumerism, that we call America! Yeah! Take THAT! Scornage! Comin atcha!

What’s nice about being completely, flat on your ass broke, is that my purchasing options are limited. I saved up some cash, and got my son the Ring Stacker, which will just have to do him until I can save up for something else. Thankfully, with a five month old, you just pretty much look excited every time he reaches for a toy, and he gets excited, too. Parenting: So far, I’m winning.

So now, when someone asks me what my son will be getting for Christmas or Hannukkah, I can smugly say, “Oh, we only bought him ONE toy. We’re not into all that buy-for-the-sake-of-buying crap!” and I can look all smug, or sound all smug, or smugly wipe the ever-present baby vomit off of me.

Because if I’m going to be poor as hell, I might as well get some perks.

Happy holidays… if you’re into that kind of thing.

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2 responses to “Poverty Makes Me Morally Superior to You

  1. ekgo says:

    If you’re going to stalk me, I am going to stalk you right back. And I’m starting here.

    Also, spending money is overrated. Especially if you don’t have any. That’s my mantra, at least.

    • H. Stern says:

      Indeed! Now I’m going spend crazy on ebay!! And by that, I mean, probably $40 for an entire wardrobe for Max. WATCH OUT! MAMA’S GOIN’ CRAZY!!

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